This is so totally not the Bee’s Knees: SCRIPPS names 8 Champions

by Taco Joe
A superhuman group of adolescents broke the Scripps National Spelling Bee on Thursday, with eight contestants crowned co-champions after the competition said it was running out of challenging words.
 
It was a stunning result, coming just after midnight Thursday, for the 92nd annual event, which has had six two-way ties but had never before experienced such a logjam at the top. After the 17th round, Jacques Bailly, the event’s pronouncer, announced that any of the eight remaining contestants who made it through three more words would share in the prize.
 
 
Okay look, this isn’t a “I’m tired of everybody getting a trophy” kind of thing.
 
This is just me BEEing sad that what was once a great competition has BEEn declared dead, by the people that put it on.
 
I get that they ran out of words, but I don’t care. If these kids are as “good” as they say they are start throwing Latin and French and Chinese words. They’re supposed to bee the best spellers in the world, by golly spell on other languages.
 
They said that they ran out of words that challenged them, so start giving them words that don’t challenge them. Turn the Bee into a game of endurance rather than intelligence. Make them do jumping jacks while spelling, run laps, sing the words they’re spelling, anything really. I want to see BLOOD.
 
I mean how great would it be to see a kid fall off stage from exhaustion for spelling against 7 other kids for 15 consecutive hours?
 
Again this isn’t an “everyone’s a winner” rant. It’s just that I wish that SCRIPPS Spelling Bee was a lot cooler and had Sudden Death/Overtime rules.
 
So SCRIPPS,
if you need ideas ya boy’s got tons.
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