The Falcons Also Disappointed Me

by Taco Joe

Not even 24 hours after the Bucs release their bland assault on NFL Uniforms the Falcons come at us with this nonsense.

Falcons release new uniforms and NFL fans have jokes | Sporting News

So here we go again.

White uniforms are supposed to be bland, whatever.

Now white tops with red bottoms I would like if this red was literally any shade darker. These uniforms are the definition of candy ass, and I hope we only see them once.

The black top and bottom are most likely Atlanta’s Color Rush uniforms, and in the grand scheme of bad uniforms, this isn’t that terrible. Is it boring? yes, Is the ATL super corny? yes, but all in all its a fairly no-nonsense uniform, so one can’t be too angry at it. The number font is an abomination but I’ll get to that later.

The black tops with white bottoms are the best by a mile. (far right) I really really like this uniform. It’s reminiscent of the Deion Sanders era Falcons, it also reminds me of Nebraska’s Blackshirts alter ego. Nebraska "Blackshirts" Uniform — UNISWAGI’m a big fan ofPictured: Cornerback Deion Sanders the whole Throw The Bones thing the Huskers have going on, and that’s the main reason I like this one. Other than that we have the classic Falcons logo on the shoulders of the jersey and the helmet from the looks of it. Hopefully, the Falcons go through the trouble of changing out the stickers on the helmet for their throwback games. I’m a sucker for a good (or even bad let’s be honest) throwback. These are the only truly good jerseys.

The non-throwback black tops and white bottoms (second to left) aren’t disgusting, but yet again the uniforms top out at not terrible at best.

The red to black hombre tops look disgusting and I’m ashamed of them even though I’m not a Falcons fan. I mean what is this? Who in the Atlanta front office thought it was a good idea to have a fade to black jersey? Had they done it all the way down to the pants that would’ve been one thing. It would’ve been a bad thing, but at least it’d be gutsy.

The Longest Yard" | Salon.comOther than the hombre, everything else stinks too. Again the red is way too bright and diminishes any “cool” factor they had going from the Matty Ice MVP days. I’ve seen people (the Carolina Panthers) say that this set of jerseys looks like the Mean Machine from The Longest Yard, and honestly, they’re not far off. At least the Mean Machine has a nice Number font, cause the Falcons’ is ridiculous. Every number is ugly, all of their “popping” effects is stupid. Why do the 2’s have a talon???? It doesn’t need to be there and I hate all of them.

The Falcons managed to release, on aggregate, worse uniforms than the Bucs did yesterday. The throwback edition is the only redeemer out of any of these. Falcons fans should be mad, because their team is mediocre, and only one of their jerseys is good.

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