Ah March Madness, it’s the best time of the year. People from all walks of life fill out a bracket and enter their local office pools all in hopes of winning a little bit of money and having fun watching the games. It’s a glorious time to be a sports fan, being a gambler not so much.
11:15 AM Thursday March 21st – Louisville plays Minnesota to start the avalanche of losing. Let’s take a look at my bracket; I have Louisville advancing so let me just take the ‘Ville to win the game outright, seems easy enough. Fast forward 2 hours later and Amir Coffey and the Golden Gophers are celebrating a 86-76 victory and I’m just laying low until the next game, which if you guessed Northeastern +7, congratulations to you. Kansas won 87-53. How about Marquette, surely they can defeat Murray State, right? Nope, JA Morant and the Racers roll 83-64. Loser after loser after loser. The day has to turn around sometime because I can’t jump off a roof quite yet. Surprise, surprise. I have Nevada ML vs Florida. Florida gets up 17 in the second half and Nevada claws back only to lose by 9. At this point of the day, roughly 6PM, I’m at a loss for words. All I need is 1 winner. Wow, I actually get it with Gonzaga First Half over 44.5 Points as they put up 53 and Purdue somehow cover the -12.5 to win by 13. 2-4 to start the tournament but 2 winners to close the night. I’m riding hot now.
I wake up the next day ready to take over the world and somehow start the day off with a winner with Oklahoma ML over Ole Miss. Could it be the start of the greatest comeback in my sports betting history? I like UC-Irvine over Kansas State. Why would I take that if it’s only going to win? Do I bet it? NOPE! UC-Irvine won 70-64. Surely the state of Wisconsin can’t screw me over two days in a row as I take the Badgers over the Ducks. What do you know, tied 25-25 at half and I’m optimistic. The shots should start to fall and I’ll get a much needed win. Enter Kenny Wooten, a 6’9″ behemoth flying all across the court dunking and blocking everything that enters his path. The Ducks blow the game wide open and my grave gets a little deeper. I had Utah State and Duke team total first half over to close out my night and you already know what happens there. Double loser as I turn into this meme.
I didn’t bet the Tournament at all Saturday because I felt cursed. God Bless the UFC and Talkin Hands because without them I’d be auctioning off one of my kidneys right now trying to get some cash. Enter Sunday and we get an easy winner with UNC and say what the hell, let’s throw 700 dollars to win 50 on Duke ML. I go through no less than 5 heart attacks over the course of the game and watch in disbelief as BJ Taylor’s floater rims out as does the tip in and Duke survives 78-77 to win a thriller. I close the night off with Spurs ML and lose a parlay because Jeremy Lamb hits a half court buzzer beater to finish out my week. I’m still alive and my bracket isn’t completely dead so let’s call it a winning week.
Sidenote: It was not a winning week. I lost quite a bit of money.