Jim Crane Spurns Reporters and Orchestrates a PR Nightmare for the Astros

by Jose Bouquett

Jim Crane Spurns Reporters and Orchestrates a PR Nightmare for the Astros

The Houston Astros organization faced the media for the first time during spring training and owner Jim Crane could not have made this any worse. 


The press conference started with “apologies” from Alex Bregman and Jose Altuve. Both of these “apologies” set the tone for the PR disaster that materialized. 

If you thought Bregman’s was cringeworthy, Altuve only apologized for what happened in 2017 and conveniently left out the fact that it began in 2016 and into 2019. After both players combined spoke for 45 seconds, came Baker who was put in an absolutely impossible situation. Just hired on and not being involved he was basically shrugging the whole time and saying he didn’t know anything. 

Once the press conference was opened to the media, the real action began. Crane admittedly stated that sign-stealing had no effect on the game and did not give the Astros an advantage. 

When asked if the Astros did in fact cheat, Crane did absolutely everything in his power to not say the word, cheat. 

“We broke the rules,” – Jim Crane, 1,000 times during this press conference. The word cheated, used zero times. 

If you took a shot after every time Crane said “Commissioners report” you would be absolutely shitfaced. He kept going back to that statement whenever any outside reporting was done on the scandal. 

Reports of this being a player-driven scandal were brushed off by Crane as if it was gossip and not fact. He used the report to reassure everyone he didn’t know anything about the scandal, to say the Astros players should not be punished, to say it was only the general manager Jeff Luhnow and former manager A.J Hinch were the ones to blame, it was his crutch the whole time and he referenced it OFTEN. When in reality the report said the Luhnow knew nothing about this scheme and look where he is now, makes you think

ESPN Reporter Marly Rivera (shoutout to you, big fan), put Crane in a body bag at the end of the press conference and really isolated how the Astros feel about this scandal. 

How in the world can Crane just get away with saying that sign-stealing isn’t an advantage for the hitter?

That is what everyone is going to remember and from this nightmare of a press conference. Oh, and the media have clubhouse availability coming soon, so here comes a fresh new wave of apologies.

Does any of this even matter? At this point, the Astros should have just come out with their middle fingers up and say “Yeah we cheated, but flags fly forever idiots”.

I did enjoy Crane basically telling the Yankees and Yankees’ fans to fuck off though. You hate to see that. 

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